I have a 2 year old

Even one week later it is still hard to believe. He has changed so much even in just this past week, it amazes me. He really is a little man. The way he just asks for what he wants. Or just walks around like he knows where he is going. He is really coming into himself, well as much as a 2 year old can!

Here he is stealing cookies from the jar.

He loves dinosaurs. He loves reading. He really loves a good chunk of the Dr. Seuss books. (Cat in the Hat, One Fish Two Fish, There's a Wocket in my Pocket, to name a few.) He loves to just run around, inside and outside, and yell like no one can hear him. Singing to ABC's & counting to 20 are things he can do with ease. Thomas the Tank Engine is in his hands almost 24/7 as he goes about his day. Stickers, coloring and drawing are some of our favorite nightly past-times.

He still loves The Fresh Beat Band & Yo Gabba Gabba. Dancing and singing are fun things to do around the house and in the car. Yelling at Mommy & Daddy to stop singing and dancing along is also something fun he likes to do.

He still loves to cuddle when sitting on the couch and right before going to bed, and I am still soaking in every minute expecting that it might be the last! You never know when he is going to go all "big boy" on us, he is 2 you know.

Two Years Ago....

At 4:16pm 2 years ago today the most important person in my life came into the world. Not a single moment in my life has been the same since. It has been an amazing journey & I can't wait to see what the next few decades bring us. 


Today the birthday boy & I are having a mommy and me day. May this be the best birthday he has ever had!

Happy Birthday Grayson!!!

Feeling Lonely

There are so many fears that I have, most of which I don't even want to think, let alone say out loud. Besides for my son & my husband, I feel - alone. Being left behind is a huge fear of mine. 

I spend 8-10 hours a day, 5 days a week, at work. While I enjoy the company of a couple of people at work I find myself kind of on the outside of the "in crowd". It's kind of like High School all over again. I felt like I was "in" at one point, but now I don't get invited to lunch, or to outings outside of working hours, and unless I seek out most of these people I'm not even an after thought to them. 

I have lost one of my best friends even outside of work. 

Honestly, more often then not I feel like I'm drowning in life right now. I don't want to end up that women in 15 years that has nothing but her kids. The kids that hate her because she is always up their asses. But I don't want to have to beg for friends. Basically I want to stop caring about the friendships that I feel like I've lost & hope that I figure out something to fill the void. 

I need to feel like I'm wanted as much as I want to be wanted. I need to get out of this funk. 

Blankets

Grayson never liked blankets. Always yelled if you tried to put them on him, always kicked them off at night. But now, when he is on the couch, "my blanket", is one of the first things he will ask for. He takes his milk, pulls the blanket up to his chin and cuddles into the pillow and just looks so warm and happy.

He has even taken to dragging the warmest and softest of blankets up to bed with him. Which, I get a little jealous of because I like to cuddle under it myself at night, but for the happiness of my child I will most certainly give it up.

Cuddling with Mommy & Daddy is always a favorite past time for him right now, every time he climbs in my lap, "mommy sit", I act like it's going to be the last time. I hug him close, I smell his babiness, I wisper in his ear that I love him, "no" is always the response... but that's okay I can see the little smile on his face, I know he says no, but means, "me too".